My dreams are back.\u00a0 Thank-you.\u00a0 I have not had restful sleep for a while-I have not been dreaming-or can’t recall any dreams that may have seeped into my sleep.\u00a0 I fall asleep tired and wake up tired.\u00a0 Mental lists of things I have to get done have been running through my sleep- so much so that a forgotten item on my list is what wakes me…….did I call the insurance company?\u00a0 Did I get back with mom’s doctor?\u00a0 Have the car checked?\u00a0 Deposit the check that was already two days late?\u00a0 Schedule the vet appointment? Volunteer to carve pumpkins in my daughters class?\u00a0 yes.\u00a0 yes. no. check still late.\u00a0 no. yes.\u00a0\u00a0 go back to sleep.<\/p>\n
I have always been a list maker.\u00a0 It is the structured part of my unstructured brain.\u00a0 My system.\u00a0 My lists. For a while I revolted and did away with my lists-but I forgot so much stuff-my things to do-to get done- that I had to incorporate them back into my days.\u00a0 I need these lists-not in a type A way-but because it helps me see a clear path.\u00a0 Stay on track-when my mind wanders and time goes.\u00a0 Me who could window shop and not buy- me who\u00a0could be in the midst of something “important” and then like the barracuda-veer off to something shiny.<\/p>\n
See?\u00a0 I started off talking about my dreams.\u00a0 I know my dream had something to do with a very old auditorium-a huge space-lots of seats-\u00a0 detailed wood flecked in gold leaf with a big beautiful red velvet\u00a0curtain.\u00a0 It looked very much like the theater where I first performed. ever. and where I stayed many years doing theater back to back for\u00a0 many seasons.\u00a0 I remember walking onto the bare black stage and knowing I was home. I was very comfortable in the black bare space.\u00a0 For years, many years, a bare black stage has been the place I felt the most comfortable- found the answers, peeled back the layers.\u00a0 In my dream the space looked different but the same.\u00a0 I was center stage and trying out a new stand up comedy routine.\u00a0 I don’t do stand up. In my dream I forgot all the punch lines-and then suddenly a car came crashing through the double doors in the back of the theater and it was Marky Mark-all beefy and rugged and he yelled at me to get in the car.\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Suddenly I became an action hero with Marky Mark and we were going over bridges and sparks were flying( off the car-not between me and Marky Mark) and then there was this very powerful passionate sound of a pack of coyotes and I\u00a0bolted out of my dream.\u00a0 The howls and barks of the coyotes were real….passing through the back yard-older coyotes in\u00a0front and younger pups in back.\u00a0 This was real.\u00a0 This was the second time in the past week a pack of coyotes has run through the woods.\u00a0 It is both exciting and scary……I can’t get up to look out the window because I am surrounded by pets.\u00a0 Kitty boy, 20 pounds of purr is tucked into the curl of my body between my knees and my belly and Burdick-the 18 year old jack russell in nestled down under at my feet.\u00a0 Pet love.\u00a0 it is still dark outside.\u00a0 I slip back into sleep.\u00a0 No dreams.\u00a0 No Marky Mark.\u00a0 Kitty Boy and Burdick.<\/p>\n