{"id":49,"date":"2008-10-20T09:28:09","date_gmt":"2008-10-20T13:28:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/?p=49"},"modified":"2008-10-20T11:54:05","modified_gmt":"2008-10-20T15:54:05","slug":"mid-lifemore-on-inbetween-and-in-the-middle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/mid-lifemore-on-inbetween-and-in-the-middle\/","title":{"rendered":"Mid-life?&#8230;more on inbetween and in the middle&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A fella I am quite fond of for a variety of reasons mentioned to me that he thought I seemed insecure about my age.\u00a0 He asked if playing an older woman in a show was somehow affecting my ability to deal with my age.\u00a0 The woman I am playing is 133.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A bit extreme-and if playing a 133 year old woman seemed to be affecting the reality of my (vibrant-I might add) age then I have more to worry about than applying anti wrinkle cream religiously. The truth is I am not all that concerned about my age.\u00a0 It is what it is-I have packed in a few cycles of ferocious growth into these 40-ish years. I am\u00a0the new 30.\u00a0I am not mid life&#8230;.unless I am living a shorter life than I had hoped.\u00a0 \u00a0I am healthy.\u00a0 I am confident.\u00a0 I am wiser than I was.\u00a0 I know me more than I ever thought possible.\u00a0 I am able to make decisions based on a certain kind of truth that can only come with the knowing of age.\u00a0I can detect\u00a0bullshit better than ever-and I can comment on it. And I do.\u00a0 ALOT.\u00a0\u00a0I still make mistakes and\u00a0do stupid things.\u00a0 I still suffer wounds of the heart.\u00a0 I still feel unsure&#8230;&#8230;..but, I know better.\u00a0 I know more.\u00a0 I\u00a0<em>know.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>There are so many things I love about being at this point in my life-that said- here is what is not so great.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t see.\u00a0 I love to read and I can&#8217;t see anymore.\u00a0 I broke down and purchased some reading glasses and I actually wear them.\u00a0 Parts hang lower and are more squishy-never mind the amount of exercise-it is just the way it is.\u00a0I have made peace with my C-section\u00a0scar. \u00a0I lose my concentration-quicker than ever and sometimes don&#8217;t care if it\u00a0comes back. \u00a0 I have more grey hair-but thanks to my beloved Paul-every 4 weeks now-grey is a beautiful shade of chocolate and auburn.\u00a0 I am set in my ways&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.and while I am sure long time friends and family members will argue the point-I was never this set in my ways.\u00a0 My get up and go- really, truly, just does go-only I am no longer with it.\u00a0 I have a tremendous amount of responsibility-and I think I thought as I got older I would not-but as I look back over the bulk of my life-responsibility has been forefront.\u00a0 Oldest child sydrome and all that.\u00a0 Responsibility hovers.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I do have more wrinkles.\u00a0 But I worked very hard for them-and there are a few I&#8217;ll not tame.\u00a0 I have tried Botox-to un-eleven my &#8220;elevens&#8221; as the date for my big screen close up neared.\u00a0 But this was more about vanity than insecurity&#8230;&#8230;.wait- are these two nuances\u00a0not from\u00a0the same slice of pie?\u00a0 OK&#8230;.so maybe a little.\u00a0 Scorpion, nature,&#8230;. remember? &#8230;&#8230;\u00a0Never mind, it made me feel better-the caveat is the eleven&#8217;s return after the Botox wears off-and like many vanity junkies I know-you have to keep up the treatment.\u00a0 I can not afford to look that less elevened<\/p>\n<p>All this talk of age and yet I have not revealed my true age.\u00a0 I know it is easy to figure out and I don&#8217;t care.\u00a0 I have a friend who refuses-at any price-to divulge her true age.\u00a0 &#8220;Too judgemental&#8221;, she says.\u00a0 &#8220;I don&#8217;t need someone to lable me with age&#8221;.\u00a0 I am\u00a0two sided on this issue.\u00a0 I have a realistic whatthefuck side of me that knows you can&#8217;t fool anyone in the age of Internet and information&#8230;..big fat hairy deal.\u00a0 Then, I\u00a0 have this other side of me that is holding fast to the guessing game.\u00a0 What difference does it make anyway?\u00a0 I tried lying about my age once-but I failed miserably.\u00a0 I wanted to be older-so I lied about being older&#8230;..I was so busted.\u00a0 Every year\u00a0 on my birthday, my dearest friend who caught me in the lie-reminds me of my stupid ass\u00a0&#8220;who\u00a0lies about being older?&#8221; mistake\u00a0and questions my actual age.\u00a0 I am not telling.\u00a0 It is further away from 30-and not too close to 50&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..ok, maybe closer than it was-but not <em>that <\/em>close&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.well, maybe closer than I was before&#8230;&#8230;ok.\u00a0 Enough.\u00a0 I&#8217;ll move on now.<\/p>\n<div class=\"al2fb_like_button\"><div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n(function(d, s, id) {\n  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n  js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=217894238264870\";\n  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n}(document, \"script\", \"facebook-jssdk\"));\n<\/script>\n<fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/mid-lifemore-on-inbetween-and-in-the-middle\/\" layout=\"standard\" show_faces=\"true\" share=\"false\" width=\"450\" action=\"like\" font=\"arial\" colorscheme=\"light\" ref=\"AL2FB\"><\/fb:like><\/div><div class=\"al2fb_send_button\"><div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n(function(d, s, id) {\n  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n  js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=217894238264870\";\n  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n}(document, \"script\", \"facebook-jssdk\"));\n<\/script>\n<fb:send ref=\"AL2FB\" font=\"arial\" colorscheme=\"light\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/mid-lifemore-on-inbetween-and-in-the-middle\/\"><\/fb:send><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A fella I am quite fond of for a variety of reasons mentioned to me that he thought I seemed insecure about my age.\u00a0 He asked if playing an older woman in a show was somehow affecting my ability to deal with my age.\u00a0 The woman I am playing is 133.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A bit extreme-and if playing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions\/54"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}