{"id":30,"date":"2008-09-29T10:12:53","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T14:12:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/?p=30"},"modified":"2008-09-29T19:09:11","modified_gmt":"2008-09-29T23:09:11","slug":"the-death-of-a-star-is-visable-long-before-you-detect-it-is-visable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/the-death-of-a-star-is-visable-long-before-you-detect-it-is-visable\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..the death of a star is visable long before you detect it&#8217;s origin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;..I am in deep, unable to sleep thoughts at large about the bounty of the everyday. Craving the simple of the everyday-and being ohsobored by it at the same time.\u00a0 AND not so sure I am all that pleased with the unrest that\u00a0lingers.\u00a0 Usually, the unrest in my life is a sure\u00a0sign that change is on the way(which I crave)-even if I don&#8217;t go out\u00a0seeking the change-by gosh-when least expected- there change will be grabbing at my throat.\u00a0\u00a0 Currently I am in the mood for things I know should not even be on the radar-but there they are- clawing in a &#8220;hey that feels kinda good&#8221;\u00a0 way.\u00a0 An unexpected remedy to my\u00a0deep itch-is to do nothing-but I don&#8217;t do nothing well.\u00a0 Forward motion, movement-keep things from sticking.\u00a0 Stir the pot. I am also in the mood to not deal with things I know I should be dealing with -because the other things in this particular chapter in my book of life are just too shitty&#8230;.way too overpowering.\u00a0 The other night I dreamed my mother knocked on my door and told me she was leaving.\u00a0 &#8220;Not to worry: she said.\u00a0 She would be leaving and it was really ok.\u00a0 Hint:\u00a0 leaving this world-not leaving the house.\u00a0 She was very clear-she was very matter of fact.\u00a0 She was OK.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And by the way, could I just, somehow, explain this all to my brothers-and tend to all the details that noone else will aknowledge?\u00a0 In the dream , she lit another cigarette and faded out with the smoke.\u00a0 That was it- she was gone.\u00a0 No one tells you that in understanding the death of your mother-and watching her\u00a0will that very fact into being-will be the exct time you learn more about your mother than you ever thought possible.\u00a0 And not all of it will be good.<\/p>\n<p>My mother.\u00a0 More southern than I ever thought possible.\u00a0 She is a marvel.\u00a0 She is Marjory Morningstar, Pollyanna and Melanine (from Gone with the Wind), in a blender.\u00a0 With her paticular brand of dementia (pleasant dementia-which somehow I am sure she willed as well) and her terminal diagnosis- she is blissfully in the moment.\u00a0 Her ever present-however fleeting moments.<\/p>\n<div class=\"al2fb_like_button\"><div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n(function(d, s, id) {\n  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n  js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=217894238264870\";\n  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n}(document, \"script\", \"facebook-jssdk\"));\n<\/script>\n<fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/the-death-of-a-star-is-visable-long-before-you-detect-it-is-visable\/\" layout=\"standard\" show_faces=\"true\" share=\"false\" width=\"450\" action=\"like\" font=\"arial\" colorscheme=\"light\" ref=\"AL2FB\"><\/fb:like><\/div><div class=\"al2fb_send_button\"><div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n(function(d, s, id) {\n  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n  js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=217894238264870\";\n  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n}(document, \"script\", \"facebook-jssdk\"));\n<\/script>\n<fb:send ref=\"AL2FB\" font=\"arial\" colorscheme=\"light\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/the-death-of-a-star-is-visable-long-before-you-detect-it-is-visable\/\"><\/fb:send><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;..I am in deep, unable to sleep thoughts at large about the bounty of the everyday. Craving the simple of the everyday-and being ohsobored by it at the same time.\u00a0 AND not so sure I am all that pleased with the unrest that\u00a0lingers.\u00a0 Usually, the unrest in my life is a sure\u00a0sign that change is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions\/33"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}