{"id":225,"date":"2009-01-11T13:50:52","date_gmt":"2009-01-11T17:50:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/?p=225"},"modified":"2009-01-13T17:22:43","modified_gmt":"2009-01-13T21:22:43","slug":"vanity-flakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gloriacrist.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/vanity-flakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Vanity Flakes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Full disclosure:\u00a0 I LOVE FACE PRODUCTS.\u00a0 Sample size, full size, testers,\u00a0mud packs,\u00a0eye gels,\u00a0scrubs, fine line erase;\u00a0I have been through the mill.\u00a0 Blame it\u00a0on my Grandmother Brown.\u00a0 She who religiously wore make-up everyday, and\u00a0just as religiously cleaned her face, day and night-with a whole routine of products.\u00a0 I can still smell that smell-Estee Lauder, there in the left hand corner, on her\u00a0faux marbled\u00a0counter top in the downstairs\u00a0baby blue bathroom.\u00a0 All those products neatly arranged on a gold mirror tray. There in the mix were the two most important:\u00a0 Noxzema and Ponds cold cream.\u00a0 She swore by both.\u00a0 Grandma Brown, the last of the true steel magnolias made me promise I would always keep my face and my nails clean;tomboy that I was.<\/p>\n

I too was a Noxzema girl-right up through high school, then I moved on to Clinique( remember the 1-2-3 system they had? ) Collins Department store- the only store in our town at the time,\u00a0with a real make-up counter,had\u00a0just hired a one time famous model\u00a0who had moved back home after sort of making it big in New York.\u00a0 Her name was Pepper.\u00a0 Just “Pepper”.\u00a0She had Farrah hair.\u00a0 Rumor was she\u00a0lost her mind in the city, could not take the pressure and moved back home.\u00a0\u00a0She married a Marine and went to work\u00a0at Collins.\u00a0 Selling Clinque.\u00a0 She was a natural at selling skin care and\u00a0make-up.\u00a0 Mom and I\u00a0purchased\u00a0a 1-2-3 mother daughter set:\u00a0\u00a0Cleanse, Tone, Moisturize. Dramatically different.<\/p>\n

\u00a0When I went off to college, the big thing was that very expensive black soap in it’s own case.\u00a0 All the girls had it.\u00a0 I stuck with my Noxzema.\u00a0 But then, after a stint working\u00a0at the mall, I discovered Lancome.\u00a0 To hell with that fancy black soap for Waspy good girls.\u00a0 I was going to the smouldering side.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To this day, I have made Annie Price Brown , God rest her soul,a very happy woman- at least when it comes to my face and nails.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I am religious about skin care.\u00a0 And God knows I will slather something new and exciting on this face in a vanity second.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

True Story:\u00a0\u00a0 A few years ago,upon learning I was invited back into the world of television and close-ups, I called one of my dearest friends in LA.\u00a0 She is the queen when it comes to face products-she who knows more inside scoop on what really works, what never will, and when to give up on a product line and move on to the next.\u00a0 Granted, she has never taken a needle or a knife to her fine Italian face-but she too, will slather on wrinkle erase in a vanity second.\u00a0 Without hesitation, she pointed me in the direction of overnight repair, from\u00a0the land of\u00a0bliss.\u00a0 $75 dollars for 4.5 ounces.\u00a0This was the most money I had ever spent on an individual product.\u00a0\u00a0Ever.\u00a0 It must be amazing.\u00a0I had it shipped over night.\u00a0 When it arrived, in it’s own very tiny blue box,I ripped it open and quickly\u00a0read the instructions.\u00a0 After all, my first day of filming was looming.\u00a0 “Dab on areas that need attention,once in the morning and once before you go to bed”\u00a0 It was one o’clock in the afternoon.\u00a0 I dabbed away, only<\/em> on the areas that needed attention right away-without hesitation.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Funny thing about dabbing?\u00a0 Suddenly, before you know it, you are dabbing all over the place, because, heck, if this is going to work on tiny areas, why not slather all over the entire face, and just be done with it?\u00a0 So, on the third day, I slathered.\u00a0 All over.\u00a0 Right before I went to bed.\u00a0 It tingled a bit.\u00a0 Must be working, I thought as visions of wrinkle free danced in my head.\u00a0 Then, it started to tingle a lot.\u00a0 In fact,\u00a0my face\u00a0was sort of burning.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Oh it was burning all right.\u00a0 The next morning I awoke to a\u00a0red, splotchy face. It felt\u00a0much like a mild sunburn. You know, when you burn your face at the beach-sunblock be damned?\u00a0 And then days later it begins to……….peel?!\u00a0 Peel!\u00a0 Peel?\u00a0 PEEL?!\u00a0 My first day of filming is in four days.\u00a0 I CAN NOT BE PEELING?<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 Quick, what to do?\u00a0 Who to call?\u00a0 Check face- still red, tight and not the effect I wanted from a full slathering of over night repair.\u00a0 Skin…..fixes…think fast….dermatologist friend who will not laugh at me for being so stupid.\u00a0 Call her.\u00a0 She will know what to do.\u00a0\u00a0 And here is what she said.<\/p>\n

“Butt cream.”<\/p>\n

BUTT CREAM??!!\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong>Apparently, the same ingredients in a $3.00 tube of diaper rash cream provide relief to mild facial burns.\u00a0<\/p>\n

By the time my first day of filming arrived, I was in much better shape-with only a few flakes present as proof I had done something stupid. Did I look any younger?\u00a0 Not really.\u00a0 As I sat in the chair, anxiously waiting my turn for magic, the make-up artist, very skillfully and graciously pulled out a pair of tweezers, from a small leather pouch attached to his hip,\u00a0put on his glasses and said:\u00a0 “Did someone<\/em> go a little crazy with the wrinkle cream?”\u00a0And he quietly\u00a0removed the last remaining flake from my cheek.<\/p>\n

And that was my lesson in vanity.\u00a0 From bliss world to butt cream.<\/p>\n

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